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May 20, 2005
Brian Evans and The Case of the Improbable Memory
The following takes place during approximately 15 seconds on Wednesday morning:
So yesterday morning I was in the breakroom when from behind me I hear the voice of one of my former professors.
"Brian Evans," is my first thought. Chasing close at its heels, "I sucked in his class."
Immediately I break into a cold sweat. He won't remember me. I was a forgettable student in a boring class during a semester long gone. Nothing about me is memorable.
"Play it cool." Yep, that is exactly what I'll do. He has no idea who I am, no reason for me to even talk to him. I can just grab my coffee and slip out. Escape is my specialty. I've been escaping social situations for years. It is the one art I have mastered.
Two of my coworkers shake his hand, introducing themselves as former students. Suck ups.
I make my move, but something goes awry. Some rogue part of my brain has made a power play and I suddenly find myself approaching him.
"I took your class as well." I'm shaking his hand. Great introduction. Very strong.
"Oh really? What was your name?" He's smiling and friendly.
I have to consider his question. What's he getting at?
"Uh....Gabriel."
He pauses, extending his index finger as he thinks.
"Vogel?" he quizzes.
I'm stunned. Shocked silence fills my mind. He remembers me. Maybe he doesn't remember how terrible my test scores were. Maybe I can steer the conversation away from academics so that he won't remember how badly I performed in every area of his class. Some lower level mental function recognizes the need for a response and answers without consulting me.
"I sucked in your class."
I'm horrified. I stand there gaping at him. I have nothing to say. What should have been a brief pause becomes pregnant and gives birth to an uncomfortable silence.
Wait, I have it, I know how to get out of this!
I gesture at the doorway and the person who isn't standing there. "Oh, looks like I need to run, nice to see you!"
He turns to see who I am talking about. Of course no one is there, but I am already on the way out. Just to complete the experience, I turn the direction opposite of where I gestured.
Excellent all around.
Posted by gvogel at May 20, 2005 12:19 AM
Comments
You already have the best blog ever. Keep up the good work.
Posted by: Andrew at May 20, 2005 10:01 AM
Possibly the funniest thing I've read all day. Hell, I'll take it further. It's the funniest thing I've read in months.
but surely you couldn't have sucked that hard. Perhaps he remembers you for good reasons? no?
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